Sometimes, it’s hard to even admit to
yourself that you’re in an abusive relationship. However, it’s important to
know when to spot the signs of abuse, how to end the relationship, and how to
go about moving on. Although the majority of abusers in relationships are male,
there are cases of female abuse in relationships. All abuse should be viewed
equally, and the following content is aimed at anyone who believes they are
being abused, either mentally or physically.
How
to spot them
Abusive relationships will never be black
and white. There are deep emotional connections involved, and although you’ll
take this into account – try and think of the following as a checklist for your
relationship. If your partner does any of these things, consider the
relationship’s future and seek advice from family and friends.
Isolation
– Your partner continually cuts you away from your
family and friends in order to spend more time with you. This can seen innocent
at first. However, the more isolated you become, the more dependant you become
on your partner. This, in turn, gives them more power over you in the long run.
Blame – Does your partner blame you for their feelings? When they’re
angry, are they just angry? or are you the cause of their anger? This goes for
mistakes. Are you constantly blamed for their mistakes? Be wary of this, as
blame can lead to violence and feelings of worthlessness in the long run if
continual.
Jealousy - Does your partner become jealous at the thought of you with
friends or family? This very much ties into the idea of isolation. The more
jealous your partner becomes, the more isolated you can feel by them in social
situations.
Expectation
– Do you get yelled at when a standard isn’t met in
the home? Are they constantly belittling you because you have done things
differently to the way they would do them? Perfection isn’t realistic in a
relationship. We all have issues to deal with and expecting someone to meet
standards is unfair and cruel.
Controlling
tendencies – Does your partner check your phone,
your receipts, even your bank account? This is a red flag. Issues like this can
lead to bigger problems down the line. If this has escalated, and you need to
ask permission in order to do things with your friends and family, please
consider getting help.
Physical
violence – If you have been hit by your partner in
the past, or they have threatened you in any way, then you need to leave
immediately and find help from loved ones. This can extend to those outside of
your relationship, such as children and animals.
How
to leave the relationship
Once you’ve established that the
relationship is a sinking ship – you need to get out of there. The first step
is to get help. Find loving and secure people in your life and ask for help. It
isn’t weak to do so and any decent human being will be willing to help you.
You must also find a way to be strong
within yourself. Leaving someone can be hard as it is. But when you have an
abusive relationship in your life, ending things can be 100x worse. Try not to
take on board anything that they say and cut all ties. You’ll find down the
line that doing so will help more than anything. Keeping in touch with an
abusive person is detrimental to your mental health and can cause more harm
than it’s worth. Understand your worth above all else and you’ll find a way.
How
to move on
Once you have managed to move on from the
relationship, you can start to rebuild your life, see new people and begin
again. If your relationship became abusive, you can seek help from
psychiatrists and doctors, and even claim
compensation as a victim of abuse.
Guest Article written by Gina Kay Daniel
Post a Comment